[社会] 老外吐槽到中国必须习惯的8件事（双语）

　　左：UC San Diego Giesel Library;右：颐和园的一个亭子

　　美国人Kathy Krejados在中国武汉生活了四年，回到美国后，生活中有一些东西反而让她觉得不适应，她回忆起刚到中国那会儿必须逼着自己习惯的许多事情，忍不住吐槽。你怎么看？

　　Kathy Krejados, from the US, reflects on the things that she has become inured to after living in China for four years. Some aspects of Chinese society that contrast deeply with life in the US even make her readjustment back home difficult. You are welcome to leave comments.

　　人多（People）

　　在中国，只要一出家门，放眼望去，除了人还是人。挤公交这件事简直有点反人类，走在人行道上还要像玩儿赛车游戏一样左闪右避，在KFC里和一个完全不认识的人共用一张桌子——这些事在美国是不可能发生的，尤其是和陌生人坐在一起吃饭。相比之下，美国显得很“空”。即便是在像洛杉矶、西雅图、坦帕和波特兰这种大城市的人行道上也不会有这么多人，出门碰见邻居遛弯儿都很稀罕。

　　Unless I'm in my house, I can count on seeing people everywhere. The crush of humanity on buses, dodging physically linked groups on crowded sidewalks, having a total stranger share a table with me at KFC – none of this would happen in the States, especially strangers eating together. By contrast, America seems empty. Even in bigger cities like Los Angeles, Seattle, Tampa and Portland sidewalks are virtually bare and neighborhoods seldom have anyone walking around.

　　广场舞（Square Dancing）

　　每天晚上的同一时间，我们小区和隔壁小区的大妈都会集合起来一起跳舞。我的耳朵每晚都要受到相同的7首歌的轮番轰炸。如果她们因为下雨而暂停跳舞一天，我都会想念那些歌了，然而每当那7首歌响起的时候，我都在心里暗暗咬牙：跳舞就跳呗，咱换7首歌行吗？

　　The ladies of our community and the community next door gather to dance away their day's frustrations at the same time each night. I've heard the same seven songs every night. If, because of rain, they do not dance, I miss the music, even though when I hear it I feel like grinding my teeth. Can't they find seven other songs to dance to?

　　菜园子（Gardens）

　　中国的每一块宝贵的土地都被种上了东西。在我们学校后面的空地上，你能看到有人提着水桶，扛着农具在他们的菜地里忙活。你还能闻到天然肥料（人体排泄物）的味道……很难闻。我甚至有一次看见一个男人在公路中间种菜。我真的想象不出西方哪里能有这么多菜园子。

　　Any little available patch of ground is planted. In the no-man's land to the rear of our campus you will find people trudging, pail and implements in hand, to tend to their vegetables. You might also smell the (human waste) fertilizer... not a pleasant smell at all. Once, I even saw a man tending a vegetable garden he had planted on a highway median. I doubt that, anywhere in the west, one would find such an abundance of gardens.

　　交通（Traffic）

　　在我去过的任何一座中国城市，交通都是个令人头疼的问题。无论你是步行还是坐出租车，你都有可能把自己的命运交到别人的手上。在中国，任何人成功到达任何地方都是个奇迹。我每次在带美国朋友出门之前都得提前给他们打“预防针”，免得他们在路上心脏病发作。

　　In every city I've been to in China, traffic of all kinds is just a crazy proposition. Be you a pedestrian or a taxi passenger, you are taking your life in your hands – or putting it in someone else's on every outing. It's a wonder anybody gets anywhere in China. I've often told my stateside friends who wish to visit that I would have to sedate them before taking them anywhere because they would likely have a heart attack at some of the traffic doings.

　　气温（Temperature）

　　武汉的气温只有两种模式：冰箱模式和烤箱模式。我已经习惯了冬天穿成一个“粽子”，夏天挥汗如雨。如果有必要，冬天我会在家里用电暖气，夏天开空调。可出了家门，温度是高是低就得看运气了。在美国，几乎任何地方都有空调。其实德克萨斯州和武汉差不多热，但我住在德州的时候从来都不觉得。因为我的家里有空调，车里有空调，办公室有空调，下班后买东西的商店里也有空调。在这边的“自然温度”里生活久了，回到美国反而很不适应。

　　Wuhan has two set temperatures: freezer and oven. I'm used to bundling up in the winter and shedding as much as possible in the summer. If need be, I have a space heater for winter and air conditioning for summer in my home. Everywhere else I might venture, there might not be climate control. Just about everywhere in America is temperature controlled: houses, cars, stores, offices. It gets as hot in Texas as it does in Wuhan but it never really bothered me because I went from my air conditioned house to my air conditioned car, drove to my air conditioned office and, after work, went shopping in air conditioned stores. After living in natural temperature cycles since I've been here, it is difficult for me to adjust to regulated temperatures stateside.

　　柜台和家具有点矮（Low counter and furniture）

　　毫无疑问，我是个高个子。刚来到这边的时候，我花了很长时间去适应厨房里那些只到我大腿的台面，沙发对于我来说是用来“蹲”的而不是用来“坐”的。我也不再为餐馆的“迷你”小桌子纠结了，现在我会自觉地把腿蜷缩在桌子下面，或者干脆坐到过道上。每次回到美国，那些高度到我屁股的橱柜台面和舒适的沙发都亲切得让我想要叫出来。

　　I am tall, no doubt about that. When I came here, it took a long time to adjust to kitchen counters that hit me mid-thigh and couches that I have to crouch on rather that sit on. I've made my peace with tiny dining tables at restaurants too: now I automatically adjust my legs so that I can scrunch them under the table. Or, I sit sideways. Without fail, every time I return to America, I exclaim over the countertops that are as high as my hip and sofas that I can fall into – instead of falling down on.

　　疯狂的自行车（Crazy things on wheels）

　　我在路上见过有人用自行车驮着特大号床垫、冰箱和泡沫塑料，还见过三、四个人一块儿骑着一辆电动摩托从身边呼啸而过。似乎只要有东西要搬，一辆普通的自行车就够了，绑在车上不就搞定啦？相比之下，美国除了在少数几座城市以外，骑自行车的人并不多见。即便如此，自行车也是用来载人的，而不是用来载冰箱的。自行车更多的是一种消遣工具，而不是运输工具。

　　I've seen queen sized mattresses, refrigerators and huge sculptures of styrofoam on bikes, going down the road. Three or four people, astride an electric scooter, trundling by. It seems that if it needs wheels, the common bike is good enough. Tie it on and make it work. By contrast, biking in America is a dubious proposition everywhere except a few select cities. Even then, bikes are for people, not refrigerators. Cycling is more recreational than functional in America, for the most part.

　　味道（Smells）

　　我说的味道指的是路边小吃摊和自由市场的味道。在美国，走在路上你可能会味道花香或者是汽车尾气的味道，但在中国，食物的味道却比那些都要浓烈。

　　Food vendor carts and open markets are what I'm talking about when I mention smells. In America, you might smell flowers, belching diesel fumes from buses and car exhaust, but smelling food is not as prevalent as in China.

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