美国牛校学生们大爆成功家教秘诀！

　　为了帮助父母们揭开成功孩子童年的家教秘密，我在撰写《龙妈妈鹰妈妈》期间，来到斯坦福大学，访谈这里的牛校大学生。斯坦福校园一如既往，充满了神圣而浓厚的学术色彩，但不乏朝气蓬勃的年轻活力！这是我在斯坦福大学完成博士后深造之后第一次重回斯坦福，心情颇有些不平静！

　　斯坦福大学很多小牛人与我谈笑风生，全盘爆出各自的童年家教和成长秘笈。《龙妈妈鹰妈妈》被评为中国影响力教育书，我觉得和这些牛校学生们的重要家教秘密有一定关系！这里我与大家分享我与其中三位的对话。他们的名字是Tom，Helen，和Nolan （下面照片上的学生从左到右）。中英文都附上，以便于大家了解这些小牛人的原话。

　　Dr. Guili Zhang (张桂莉教授):

　　I wanted to find out how you become so successful. You come to Stanford, you know, such a high bar. Just being able to be admitted to Stanford is so impossible for most people. I wanted to find out about your childhood. What personal qualities or attributes that you developed during your childhood helped you become an academically highly successful person?

　　我想了解你们怎样变得如此成功。你们来到斯坦福，你知道的，这么高的门槛。能考上斯坦福大学，对大多数人来说是不可能的。我想了解一下你们的童年。你们童年里什么样的个人特质或属性，帮你成为一个学术上非常成功的人？

　　Helen:

　　I think a big one for me was just having natural curiosity about things that you’re learning in school and so that gives you the will to go beyond what you’re learning in classes. And I always pushed my parents to get me little science kit, like, science kits I’d see in the toy store. She’d always buy me extra math books to do at home. So just naturally wanting to learn about things outside of the classroom.

　　我觉得对我来说，很大的一项，就是对在学校学习的东西有天生的好奇心，这种天生的好奇心给你一种意志，让你超越你正在学习的课程。我总是让我的父母给我弄一些小科学套件，比如，我在玩具店看到的科学套件。她总是给我买额外的数学书在家里做。所以，就是很自然地想了解课堂以外的东西。

　　Nolan:

　　I don’t think I can remember a time when I wasn’t interested in math. Now I’m more interested in computer science, but when I was younger math was definitely what I enjoyed. I’m trying to remember what pushed me into that, ‘cause it’s not necessarily a common thing for kids to like that. Even the toys I had as a kid, I think were all sort of geared towards, or at least the way that I used them, sort of geared me towards mathematics. You know, like building with blocks or things like that I always enjoyed, like building tall buildings.

　　我不记得有什么时候我不对数学感兴趣的。现在，我更感兴趣的是计算机科学，但是我小时候，数学肯定是我最喜欢的。我在回忆一下是什么把我推向那个方向的，因为孩子那样并非是常见的。即使是我儿时的玩具，我觉得都是那种面向数学的，或者至少我用它们的方式，是面向数学的。你知道，像用积木建设高大的建筑等，我一直都很喜欢.

　　Dr. Guili Zhang (张桂莉教授):

　　So do you think your parents bought those kind of toys for you on purpose?

　　所以，你觉得你的父母是故意买那些类型的玩具给你？

　　Nolan:

　　Uh, you know, I think they probably did to some extent. Maybe not, like, planning on me going to Stanford, or something like that (laughs), but, like, you know, to keep me interested in math. When I was a kid, they never really let me watch TV. So I had very, very limited exposure to television as a kid. So it was always playing outside or building things or whatever.

　　我觉得在一定意义上，他们是。也许不是为我去斯坦福大学做计划，或者类似的东西（笑），但是，你知道，来让我保持对数学的兴趣。当我还是个孩子的时候，他们从来没有让我看电视。所以，作为一个孩子，我接触电视非常非常有限。因此，我总是在外面玩，或者建筑东西或什么的。

　　Tom:

　　For me I think it was reading. I loved to read from a really young age and I think it was because my parents would read with me from, like, the age of one or two. And, um, I’d follow along with them until the point where I could read along with them, and then I’d just start, from the age of kindergarten onwards, I would just read all the time. I remember in second grade staying up, like, underneath the sheets of my bed with a flashlight, until, like two in the morning! (all laugh)。My dad would come in every ten minutes and get mad at me and turn off all the lights and then he’d come back in again and I’d still be reading.

　　对我来说，我认为这是阅读。我喜欢阅读从很小就开始了，我认为这是因为我的父母会跟我一起阅读。比如在我一两岁的时候。而且，嗯，我会跟着他们，直到我能和他们一起读，然后我才开始，从幼儿园时代去，我已经习惯了阅读。我记得在小学二年级熬夜，我用手电筒照亮在床单下读书，直到凌晨两点！（所有人都笑）我爸会每十来分钟来一次，生我的气，并关闭所有的灯，然后他会再回来，我仍然在阅读。

　　Helen:

　　As a parent having a lot of books—available to your kids. That’ll make a huge difference.

　　父母有大量的书籍，提供给您的孩子。这将会产生巨大的变化。

　　Tom:

　　That made a huge difference for me. I just loved reading all sorts of books but I didn’t mind reading the same book over and over again. Like, I read the Harry Potter books, the first four of them, twelve times each. And I would write down whenever finished them again. I just really, really enjoyed reading. It was kinda like creating a whole new world just inside your head. I know a lot of people say that, but I think for a little kid it’s really important to develop your imagination that way by getting exposed to a lot of different literary stuff.

　　这对我来说产生了一个巨大的差异。我就是喜欢看各种各样的书籍，但我并不介意一遍又一遍地读同一本书。比如，我读了哈利波特的书，前四本，每本十二次。当我读完，我会写下来。我就是真的、真的很喜欢读书。它就好像在你的脑袋里创建了一个全新的世界。我知道有很多人这么说，但我觉得对于一个小孩子，接触很多不同的文学的东西，来开发你的想象力，这真的很重要。

　　Helen:

　　I think delaying gratification is a big thing. As parents, making sure, always make sure I have my homework done before I could do fun things. It’s about laid out, like, laid its net in life, like, having determination to get something done. I think a love of what you’re doing is necessary to be determined enough.

　　我认为，延迟满足很重要。作为父母，要确保，始终确保我先做完我的功课，然后我可以做有趣的事情。这是像奠定生活的网一样，让你有决心完成某项工作。我觉得，你必须爱你所做的事，你才会有必要的足够决心。

　　Nolan:

　　Perseverance is definitely important, but I don’t think that there was ever a time where there was something that was so difficult that I really needed to persevere over and over again to overcome it. So I don’t know if that’s necessarily the right word. But definitely, a desire to finish things. A desire to see something through to the end. I think that’s an important personal quality for me.

　　毅力是绝对重要的，但我不认为曾经有过一段时间，有东西太难了，我真的需要坚持一遍又一遍地去克服它。因此，我不肯定毅力是正确的措辞。但可以肯定，渴望完成事情。渴望看到事情进行到底。我认为这是我的一个重要的个人素质。

　　Tom:

　　For me, first thing that comes to mind is, uh, goal-setting and achieving. So, maybe even writing down or just thinking about different things I wanna accomplish in a certain time-period and then working to a point to achieve them. And being able to, plan a little bit. And plan out, whether it be your day, your week, or your year. And, time management skills; if you have a couple sports going and, like, volunteering and academics and what have you, but also having time to hang out with some friends and make sure you spend time with your family as well. All of those things really combine to, they’re really important qualities. Especially if you wanna get to a place like here.

　　对于我来说，想到的第一件事就是，呃，目标设定和实现。甚至写下或只是想着我想在一定的时间周期来实现的不同的东西，然后去工作达到它。并能做计划，无论是一天，一周，或一年。还有，时间管理技能; 如果你有一些体育活动，志愿服务，学业，还要有时间和朋友玩，并确保你花时间与你的家人在一起。所有这些事情真的结合起来，他们是非常重要的素质。特别是如果你想能够到像这里的地方（斯坦福大学）。

　　Helen:

　　Having a balance between all of those things is a big deal.

　　在所有这些事情之间取得平衡很重要。

　　Dr. Guili Zhang (张桂莉教授):

　　If you were to give Chinese parents advice on how they can help their children, how they can raise their children so they can be successful in the future, what advice would you give them?

　　如果你想给中国的父母一些关于他们如何能够帮助孩子，如何养育孩子让他们能在未来取得成功，你会给他们什么建议？

　　Helen:

　　Figure out what they’re interested as children，what they have a natural love of and then try to help out and build that. Like, if they like puzzles then buy a lot of puzzle games. If they like reading, buy a lot of books. If they’re good at math then buy a lot of extra math books but don’t try to force something, even if the parents think that’s a good quantity, don’t try to force on the children. What they are passionate for, help them out with that, at least at a young age. And at an older age just make sure they have a balance between all things. If they’re not doing so well in one subject, don’t pressure them to put in a lot of work and sacrifice, like, sports or social activities; just make sure that there’s always a balance.

　　搞清楚他们对什么感兴趣，对什么有一个自然的爱，然后尽力帮助，并建造。比如，如果他们喜欢拼图，那么就买很多拼图益智游戏。如果他们喜欢读书，买很多书。如果他们擅长数学，那么买很多额外的数学书，但不要试图强迫，就算父母认为这是一个良好的数量，不要试图对孩子逼压。他们对什么有激情，帮助他们，至少在他们年龄小的时候。他们年龄较大后，只要确保他们拥有所有事情之间的平衡。如果他们哪个学科不怎么好，不要强迫他们投入了大量的工作，并牺牲体育或社会活动; 只要确保总有一个平衡。

　　Nolan:

　　Yeah, I think the balance is especially important. Stanford definitely emphasizes having a balanced life. You know, socially, academically, physically… they should be playing a sport if they enjoy that. But also reading and doing the academic things; covering all of the different aspects of life.

　　是的，我认为平衡尤为重要。斯坦福大学绝对强调有一个平衡的生活。你知道，社会，学术，身体......如果他们喜欢，他们应该参加体育项目。同时阅读并做学术的东西; 涵盖生活的各个方面。

　　Tom:

　　I think it’s really important to be unique and have something for you that sets you apart from everyone else. It’s really easy just go through the motions and, maybe play an instrument, do good in school and play one sport or something. And just fill out your resume. But, at the same time, if you’re pursuing your passions like Helen said, you really should be unique and have something that differentiates you from everyone else. And I know that maybe coming from China where there’s a lot of people applying to schools like Stanford, Harvard, etc., it’s hard to differentiate yourself.

　　For me it was rather easy. I’m from Alaska, I was on a shooting team, I started my own non-profit, there’s different things. Those things help a lot, but at the same time you still have to work really hard in school and get good grades and test well. You have to make sure that you fulfill the minimum requirements and have this baseline, and then in one particular area you have to be above everyone else so much.

　　我认为独特是非常重要的，你有一样东西能把你与其他人区分开。真的很容易只是走走过场，可能学一种乐器，在学校学习好，玩一项运动或什么的。只是填充自己的简历。但是，在同一时间，如果你追求你的激情，像海伦所说的，你真的应该是独特的，有什么事情让你与众不同。我知道，从中国来的学生有很多申请像斯坦福大学、哈佛大学等，他们很难区分自己。

　　对我来说是相当容易的。我来自阿拉斯加，我在一个射击队，我开始我自己的非营利组织，有一些不同的事情。这些东西有很大的帮助，但同时，你还是要在学校里真的很辛苦地学习，并取得好成绩。你必须确保你满足最低分数要求，有这个基础，然后在一个特定的区域中，你必须要高于其他人很多。

　　与小牛人们的对话很长很丰富，但受文章篇幅限制，只能分享这里。与这些小牛人的全部对话都收录在《龙妈妈鹰妈妈》里啦！

　　为了揭开成功者家教法宝，我做了与很多成功者的“面对面”，包括比尔盖茨先生，美国教育部长邓肯，哈佛校长Drew Faust，奥巴马竞选教育顾问Linda Darling-Hammond教授，中国教育学会前会长顾明远先生等。我的数千个美国学生们（他们都是美国老师哦！），帮我采访了全美国千百位各行各业的成功人士，总结出众多成功人士的家教和成长的共同秘密，来与年轻的爸爸妈妈们分享！

　　《龙妈妈鹰妈妈》被评为中国影响力教育书，深得广大家长和教育工作者的厚爱，多谢这些牛人们无私分享他们的家教和成长秘密！